Hot Chocolate Cupcakes

I've made these spicy cupcakes for co-workers at two different companies, and I keep adding a little more cayenne to each successive version (I think baking must temper the spicyness somewhat). I thought I overdid the penultimate batch; my tongue went numb when I taste-tested the batter, but the gang sucked up every last one and sniffed around for crumbs.

The key is not telling anyone about the cayenne; the moxieless will think "yick" and shy away. Just tell potential consumers "they taste like hot chocolate, and everybody loves hot chocolate, right? " Well, except for the lactose intolerant. So, I guess you better tell the lactose-intolerant, moxieless folks that these are like the hot chocolate they always wished they could quaff. But warn them about the butter in the frosting so they can scrape it off -- unless you want to watch them clutch their twisted guts in agony a few hours later. Ummmmmm. Right. Not sure how I moved from yummy, finger-licking cupcakes to twisted guts, so just stick with "everybody loves hot chocolate!"

This one's for you, Hellmut.

cake ingredients

• 1 box dark chocolate cupcake mix + other stuff it calls for (e.g., oil, eggs, water)
• 1-2 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1/2 c roughly-chopped dark chocolate chips
• 1 7.5 oz jar marshmallow creme

frosting ingredients

• 2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 tbsp cinnamon extract
• 2 pinches salt
• 2 tbsp ground cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp ground cardamom
• 5 c powdered sugar
• ¼ c + 2 tbsp milk or cream (use water if cupcakes will sit in a warm room for more than 8 hours)
• cinnamon sprinkles
• small cinnamon candies

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
instructions

1. Following directions on box, mix cupcake batter. Add 1 tsp cayenne and taste. If it seems too hot to you, it’s probably about right. If not, then keep adding cayenne. Fold in chocolate chips and spoon batter into cupcake tins lined with papers, filling no more than 2/3 full. Bake according to directions. Make sure you pay attention to that bit about whether your tins are shiny or non-stick and adjust the oven temperature accordingly. Dry, crumbly cupcakes are harder to work with.


2. Cool cupcakes completely. I like to make them one night and frost them the next. You’re going to want them to firm up a bit before this next step.


3. Cut an inverted cone in the top of each cupcake (pointing top in the middle) and cut off the bottom of the cone, so that you have a cavity with a lid.


4. Fill each cupcake with 1-2 tsps marshmallow creme. Cupcakes are fun. Stuffing them with marshmallow creme using two spoons is not. Do yourself a favor and dip your (clean) finger in a small bowl of water before you try to scrape the marshmallow off a shallow metal spoon into each cupcake. Do not dip the spoon in the water; the creme will disintegrate and ooze disgustingly. Cover marshmallow filling with cake "lid.”


5. Cream softened butter until pale and fluffy. This could take several minutes, so don’t rush it. Add vanilla and cinnamon extracts and salt. Mix until smooth. Add ground cinnamon and cardmom. Mix well, scraping down sides of bowl periodically to ensure all ingredients are blended.


6. Add a cup of powdered sugar and mix on low until the resulting choking cloud has subsided and the beater is struggling a bit, then add a few tablespoons of milk and beat on medium speed until blended. Repeat until all the powdered sugar and milk have been added, scrape down the sides and bottom well, and beat one more time. Frosting should be fluffy, sweet but not heavy, and ready to be spoon-dolloped, knife-swooped, or piped onto the cupcakes.


7. Frost each cupcake generously, then top with cinnamon sprinkles and a single cinnamon candy. After cleaning up, eat one cupcake to make sure you’re happy with result, and feel free to lick your fingers liberally. When satisfied, place cupcakes in refrigerator until 1 hour before ready to serve. They are yummiest when just below room temperature.